Go Back   Train Horn Forums > Off-Topic > Comedy
 Register

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 30th November 2009
BigChevy17's Avatar
BigChevy17 BigChevy17 is offline
Senior Member
 
Join Date: November 2009
Location: Ocala, FL
Posts: 202
BigChevy17 is on a distinguished road
Default Marrage Quotes

The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?" I said, "Dust!" ...

In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state troopers and a dog.

What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks.

A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your willpower."

Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.

A man inserted an ad in the classified: "Wife wanted." Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

Then there was a man who said, "I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late."

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."

The bumper sticker read: "I lost 250 pounds in one day, I divorced her."

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.

I married Miss Right ... I just didn't know her first name was Always.

I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months...I don't like to interrupt her.

Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.

Young Son: Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her? Dad: That happens in every country, son.

Why do men die before their wives? They want to.
__________________

02 Chevy 1500 ECSB/5.3L/4L60E/NP246/IFS/10b/K3LA/400C/5 Gal. Tank
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 1st December 2009
Twist's Avatar
Twist Twist is offline
Moderator
 
Join Date: August 2008
Location: Lexington, Kentucky
Posts: 3,127
Twist is on a distinguished road
Send a message via AIM to Twist
Default

lol. awesome
__________________

5 gallons....Viair 480c....Shockers....Psychoblasters....1/2" line....200psi...FTW

Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 3rd December 2009
danh@oasismfg.com's Avatar
danh@oasismfg.com danh@oasismfg.com is offline
Godfather
 
Join Date: September 2008
Location: Santa Ana, CA
Posts: 4,417
danh@oasismfg.com is on a distinguished road
Default

What food has the longest ill affect on the human body...wedding cake.
__________________
CFM Dude
World's most powerful 12/24 volt air compressors
Unrivaled performance / Exceptional service
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 18th March 2017
n2ocharged's Avatar
n2ocharged n2ocharged is offline
Engineer
 
Join Date: January 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 637
n2ocharged is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Marrage Quotes

And another dead thread has risen... this one with spam...

Can someone delete this user and block their IP address? Both posts have been on dead threads with nothing significant and/or spam..
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 21st March 2017
danh@oasismfg.com's Avatar
danh@oasismfg.com danh@oasismfg.com is offline
Godfather
 
Join Date: September 2008
Location: Santa Ana, CA
Posts: 4,417
danh@oasismfg.com is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Marrage Quotes

I deleted this post but there's no reason to delete the other one, even though it's an old thread. If they post anything with an unrelated link in the future then they'll get a warning, after that they get banned.
__________________
CFM Dude
World's most powerful 12/24 volt air compressors
Unrivaled performance / Exceptional service
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 21st March 2017
n2ocharged's Avatar
n2ocharged n2ocharged is offline
Engineer
 
Join Date: January 2009
Location: Virginia
Posts: 637
n2ocharged is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Marrage Quotes

Quote:
Originally Posted by danh@oasismfg.com View Post
I deleted this post but there's no reason to delete the other one, even though it's an old thread. If they post anything with an unrelated link in the future then they'll get a warning, after that they get banned.
Thanks Dan... I just get tired of seeing spam on forums by people...

Much appreciated...
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:50 AM.